New Top Ten
Mark Sanford (pictured, after being forcibly subdued by state officials) vetoed 243 items in the SC budget yesterday. Vetoed line items included $20 million in “fatty fatty pork pork” to expand Medicaid programs for children; $500,000 in “pork-covered pork with pork filling” for the Dept. of Disabilities and Special Needs' disabled-friendly campground; and $1.2 million in “wee wee wee all the way home, not by the hair of my chinny-chin-chin, th-th-th-that's all folks!” pork-a-rama for a dropout prevention program for at-risk students.
Top Ten other items
10) $25 for fire extinguisher, Colleton Home for Abandoned Orphans and Fireworks Depot
9) $300 for drinking straws,
8) $500,000 security detail for persons threatened with sexual assault by Rep. Thad Viers
7) The Sex and the City episode where Carrie breaks up with Big – oops, that’s one of the top ten items
6) Unintelligible string of “emoticons” bobtailed onto budget via text message from Sen. Glenn McConnell
5) $.75 for USC researchers to conclusively determine number of licks required to reach Tootsie Roll center of Tootsie Pop
4) $5,000 for novacaine, Kershaw Dental Clinic for Homeless Puppies
3) Throw Momma From the Train – oops, that’s one of
2) $3,000,000, electricity,