Thursday, October 27, 2005

Religion in the Tomato Belt: GoogleAds don't detect satire

When the GoogleAds on your webpage switch from Sticky Fingers ads to "financial prayer" and "Islamic cellphone" ads, that means it's time to stop writing so much about religion. It just seems like the Upstate's having a hard time catching up with the rest of the state/country when it comes to not alienating people at council meetings.

I guess it's a tough nut to crack for the pious Piedmont. The one councilman, a minister of some sort, said he would resign if they made him stop using Christ's name in his prayers. He couldn't bring himself to say "Your Son" or "Our Savior" or "Prince of Peace" or "Eezus-Jay Iced-Kray." He just had to say Jesus Christ or he was gonna resign - take his ball and go home. So they let him pray, like they apparently always do, and he thumbed his nose at the federal courts and said "Jesus Christ," and somebody's feelings got hurt.

I got a news flash for that councilman, from one of guys in the pews. Being bull-headed ain't gonna win anybody over, at least not spiritually. Politically, it might be a windfall - so if that's what you're after then go for it.

Anyway, I've come to the conclusion that the root cause of all this is tomato-based barbecue. Think about it: Walhalla, Anderson, Great Falls, Rock Hill - all in the "tomato belt." Whether you're a strict constructionist or a loose constructionist, there is one thing you cannot deny about the framers of the Constitution: They all thought tomatoes were poisonous. Maybe they were onto something... anyway, I gotta go. My Islamic cell phone is, er, blowing up. I mean... forget it.


Anonymous said...

Don't stop blogging man. You're hilarious!!

Laurin Manning said...

I got wind in the Pee Dee that those Christian Exodus folks in the Upstate are not only overthrowing local governments... apparently, they've also hijacked humor...?

MoBell195 said...

As a native Andersonian, I can definitely confirm that the tomato-based is, indeed, a problem. I didn't get right in the mind 'till exploring the mustard variety, myself.