Wednesday, February 01, 2006

These people should admit they’re working for Oscar Lovelace

By Anonymous Commenter

Guest Columnist

I’m sick of all these people going around not admitting they’re working for Oscar Lovelace.

Just the other day, I was reading the paper, and there’s this article by some shithead about South Carolina’s unemployment being so bad. Why is he bringing that up now, in an election year? He’s working for Oscar Lovelace, that’s why. He should probably admit this in his articles.

It reminds me of the political science professor who said Governor Sanford was “lost in space” during the State of the State address. Does Francis Marion University know this professor is moonlighting for the Lovelace campaign? They should. He should tell them. Because he is.

What are the odds that there’s a TIME magazine in Dr. Lovelace’s waiting room? Probably pretty good. They work for him. I’m just saying.

My barber, I don’t know about him. He’s been cutting my hair for years, and then all of a sudden the other day he says that Sanford’s a bad governor, credit rating, unemployment blah blah blah. Is he working for the Lovelace campaign? If you ask me, yes he is. He is working for the Oscar Lovelace campaign, and should admit it.

Come to think of it, my girlfriend’s been acting all weird lately. You know, just being real standoffish and stuff. I’m breaking up with her. No girlfriend of mine is going to work for the Lovelace campaign.

In conclusion, a lot of people out there have a lot of admitting to do, particularly about working for the Oscar Lovelace campaign. These people need to be totally honest, and ask themselves, am I employed by the Oscar Lovelace campaign? More often than not, the answer is yes, and they should admit it.

Anonymous Commenter is a freelance commenter whose area of expertise is Oscar Lovelace campaign-related employment. His previous contributions include “How much is your daddy paying you?”, "You are Ross," and “Admit you work for Oscar Lovelace.”


Anonymous said...

SC manufacturing jobs are going, going, going. How can I apply for a job with Oscar?

Anonymous said...

Don't bust on Neal. He doesn't even own a computer!


Anonymous said...

Yeah. If you're wagging something or even somebody, you should admit that you're being paid to do the wagging.

Anonymous said...

..or your Daddy is.

Anonymous said...

You mean some people are getting paid to say bad things about Sanford? Damn. I've been doing it for free this whole time. I gotta get paid! Where can I find this Lovelace guy?

Anonymous said...

You better hurry up to get paid; Oscar doesn't have much cash left.

Anonymous said...

Lost in space?

Earl Capps said...

Anonymous #3 - be careful what you wag, and where you wag it.

Does my post here mean that I'm working for Oscar too? Can I get my own trash can to work out of?

Whoops, wrong Oscar. I'm spending too much time around children.

Cackalacky Candidate said...

Shock and Awe........ and AW, SHUCKS!!!!

South Carolina Political Leaders Respond to the Cackalacky Candidate - The Voter's Choice for No Office.

In a never ending effort to improve the lives of South Carolinians, and address some of the worst social statistics in the United States of America, the Cackalacky Candidate contacted the state's political leadership to offer proposals for economic growth, education reform, and betterment of the lives of our citizens. The Cackalacky Candidate was confident that these men and women, with their e-mail addresses posted prominently on their political party websites, often with their photographs, and sometimes on web pages proclaiming "CONTACT US", would openly embrace new, innovative and practical ideas (such as a tax credit for education) for addressing some of the worst social statistics in the United States of America.

In a unified response, seldom seen, but by a lone quail hunter stalking through the field, with shotgun cocked and loaded, political leaders from around the state responded with descriptive and choice words. And, a multitude of them responded to the Cackalacky Candidate. And, from County political leaders and State political leadership (including the state Executive Director of a certain major political party), came a flurry of pronouncements broadcast to all parts of the state. And, some of them hastily dispatched e-mails to most of the newspapers in South Carolina. And, defying the words "unthinking allegiance" in the dictionary definition of the word "partisan", an astonished cadre of the political leadership, apparently overwhelmed by the power of the ideas put forth to them, put on its collective thinking cap and even e-mailed their political opponents. In doing so, they announced the politically strategic importance of the election winning ideas they now had in their possession, with little regard that their actions would be perceived as being defensive, reactionary, and simply having nothing better to offer the voters. It was a true demonstration, beyond all doubt, of their keen interest and thirst for new, innovative and practical ideas to address some of the worst social statistics in the United States of America.

The descriptive and choice words of these state political leaders may be viewed for your enjoyment on the Official NonCampaign website of the Cackalacky Candidate:

The Cackalacky Candidate is a NonCandidate for any office and Candidate for No Office, in the great state of South Carolina.

The Cackalacky Candidate - The Voter's Choice for No Office.

With a Politician you get Hot Air and Empty Promises.
With the Cackalacky Candidate you get Hot Air, No Promises
and a lot more Entertainment Value for your Dollar.

Anonymous said...

Sounds like there are a lot of paranoid, conspiratory theorists out there.

Anonymous said...

I'm guessing this is a crack at Will Folks who is absolutely correct when he asks "what does Oscar stand for besides a cigarette tax hike that won't do anything to help this state." It amazes me how a teaspoon-full of blog addicts think that Will is clueless or that nobody agrees with him or Governor Sanford. I simply say look at the folks who've contributed over $4 million to the Sanford campaign and the people who elected him to Congress and the Governor's Office and then look at the $150,000 given to Oscar (and just how many don't have MD in there title?)and the people who elected him president of the Clemson study body a few decades ago. The minority should stop thinking they're the majority and get over the fact that the reason Sanford leads at the bank is because voters and contributers seem to like him and his agenda. And what does it say for your campaign when your paid consultant sends out a presser with "" as the footer? And "Mr. I'll print any newspaper I can" is supposedly the genius of our time? Stop kidding yourselves, stop pretending to be republicans and stop thinking that you are the smartest slices in the bread basket.

Anonymous said...

"Agenda? Agenda? We don't need no stinking agenda!"

The Sanford Group

HappyDaddy said...

Lee Bandy always refers to Neal Thigpen as a "Republican activist." I'd be shocked of Thigpen has voted for a Republican in the past ten years.

Anonymous said...

Didn't Jack A. give money to the Sanford campaign?

Anonymous said...

I don't know about Jack A. But Lovelace sures loves the government cheese he gets from practicing in Newberry. I hear he closed one of his offices to help fund his campaign.

Free Carolina said...

Better yet, Oscar the Grouchy Candidate, it seems he actually uses campaign funds to pay "rent" to himself for his campaign headquarters in his house.

It's funny - Sanford used his house (though paid himself no rent) because he is cheap.

Anonymous said...

Are the rumors true about the uncanny resemblance of
Glenn McConnell and Stephen Colbert(The Colbert Report comedy central) both from Charleston?

Is Colbert really a clone?

What is his mission?