Friday, January 27, 2006

Experts denounce Darwinian evolution

Below: Senator Mike Fair watches as his
hand-picked experts shatter the scientific
status quo.
Esteemed scholars testify before EOC

B & P News - Columbia

The scientific community was taken aback this week as two renowned experts testified on the inadequacy of evolutionary theory before South Carolina’s Education Oversight Committee (EOC). The experts, recruited by Senator Mike Fair (R-Greenville), told the committee Monday that the unifying theory of the life sciences did not stand up to their rigorous scrutiny.

“It doesn’t cut the mustard,” said Professor Benny Hinn, sending shockwaves through scientific fields from anthropology to zoology. “For instance, how can man have evolved over millions of years if the earth is only 6,000 years old? Sounds like one Mr. Darwood wasn’t too good at mathemetrics.”

News of Hinn’s groundbreaking testimony leaked from the conference room and found its way onto the internet within minutes, causing scientists throughout the world to discard the then-accepted theory of evolution by natural selection. Hinn’s colleague, Jan Crouch, further shattered the evolutionary paradigm.

“One major flaw in modern evolutionary theory is the misidentification of human precursors,” said Dr. Crouch, who earlier signed autographs for visiting schoolchildren who confused her for a famous muppet. “For instance, where in the curriculum is the immediate forerunner to woman, the rib bone?”

Asked about the complex nature of Homo sapiens, Crouch asserted that “being a homosapien is a sin” and that “God created Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve.”

The only academically suspect statement of the hearing came when Hinn leapt onto the table and proclaimed that God had sent him to cure EOC Chairman Bob Staton of diabetes. Staton replied that he was not a diabetic, and Hinn returned to his seat. Later, Staton told B & P News that he in fact does have an intestinal ailment that “sounds a lot like 'diabetes',” then rushed into a restroom of the Blatt Office Building.

Fair stated that he will have more experts booked for future EOC hearings “once I get satellite TV,” and reiterated that his push for revised science standards has "nothing to do with religion."

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

Arrgghh the pink haired lady! Gervais, this picture does not portray Jan Crouch in her full glory. The hair is a much more noticable pink on television. ;)

Anonymous said...

Finally the real thing - no more ripoffs! Enhancement Patches are hot right now, VERY hot! Unfortunately, most are cheap imitiations and do very little to increase your size and stamina.
Well this is the real thing, not an imitation! One of the very originals, the absolutely strongest Patch available, anywhere!

Check out the site http://www.seemoco.info for more info TODAY, you'll be glad you did ;)

Penis Growth Patch

______________________________________________
Our others products:
Ultra Allure Pheromones
Anatrim
Advanced Gain Pro Pills
Regenisis HGH

Anonymous said...

Every year, 300,000 people in the U.S.A. die from being overweight...
Protect your health!

______________________________________________
Our others products:
Penis Growth Patch Rx
Ultra Allure Pheromones
Advanced Gain Pro Pills
Regenisis HGH

Anonymous said...

"I have been using Advanced Gain Pro for 3 months now and I must say I'm simply amazed. I really didn't think the product would have this many benefits. I really only purchased the pills to help the reliability of my erections. But to my surprise every aspect of my penis and sex life has improved. I have larger, harder erections easily, and I can really satisfy my girlfriend fully now."
Dexter, Chicago

The most advanced PE pill available today

________________________________
Our others products, more info here:
Ultra Allure Pheromones
Anatrim

Anonymous said...

Very good site. Thank you!!!

fast weight loss diet program burn fat lose weight


lose fat fast


See you tomorrow!

Anonymous said...

It's very interesting!
zithromax 1g
zithromax
zithromax z pack
zithromax used for treating
zithromax as treatment for chlamydia
zithromax dosing instructions
zithromax medicine
zithromax as for treatment for chlamydia
zithromax dosage
alcohol and zithromax
zithromax no perscription
side effects of zithromax
zithromax azithromycin
zithromax no prescription
antibiotic zithromax
zithromax side effects
zithromax z-pak
zithromax 3 week course
See you tomorrow!

Anonymous said...

It's very interesting!
effexor xr
effexor xr withdrawal
is effexor xr a good drug
effexor xr withdraw symptoms
effexor xr side effects
effexor xr weight loss
effexor xr withdrawal symptoms
effexor xr and eye problems
effexor xr withdrawals
generic effexor xr
effexor xr online
effexor xr 75mg side effects
alcohol and effexor xr
effexor xr generic
antidepressant effexor xr
effexor xr dosage
side effects of effexor xr
buy effexor xr
cheap effexor xr
effexor xr 37.5
effexor xr discount
effexor xr hearing loss
effexor xr treats depression
See you tomorrow!