Monday, July 23, 2007

Candidate Tips for the Charleston Debate

Today the Democratic candidates for president descend upon the Citadel in Chucktown to participate in a debate sponsored by CNN, YouTube, and the SC Democratic Party. The event (7PM) will feature an unprecedented format where voters ask the questions directly by uploading digital video content to the internet site YouTube.

Barbecue & Politics welcomes the field of candidates to the Palmetto State. Courtesy of Gervais, here are the official…

Candidate tips for Monday’s Democratic debate at the Citadel:

If you want your debate responses to “go viral” on the internet, try dropping a Mentos® into a 2-liter bottle of Diet Coke while you discuss comprehensive immigration reform.

You may encounter a few obstinate Citadel graduates who still hold a grudge about women attending the college. Don’t let these chauvinists ruin your opinion of the 3% who don’t feel that way.

While in Charleston, be sure to check out Civil War attractions such as the CSS Hunley, Fort Sumter, and State Senator Glenn McConnell.

Do not automatically assume the man in the pink seersucker suit is a gay rights activist. This is considered masculine attire in Charleston.

Remember, Charleston is no place to blast a president who suspends habeas corpus, unless you mean blast in the literal sense and the year is 1861.

It is crucial that you endear yourself to the YouTube audience. Consider adding the “Evolution of Dance” guy to your short list of possible running mates.

Dress appropriately. Although "Anderson Cooper 360ยบ" is probably named for its full-circle coverage of current events, it’s also not a bad temperature estimate for Charleston in July.

It’s fine to condemn inhumane treatment, like making people parade around the room in an “elephant walk” holding each other’s genitals. Just make sure people know you’re criticizing Abu Ghraib and not the time-honored freshman experience at the Citadel.

3 comments:

Rob W. said...

Excellent. And you even blogged from the future.

Ryan said...

Haha! This might have been your best post ever.

Rivers said...

Did you notice the irony in the debate? The home of slavery and the civil war welcoming with open arms the future President of the United States? We've come a long way in a 140+ years, but I knew someone would ask about reparations!!