Monday, May 01, 2006

Dildo lobby opposes sex toy ban

Below: Rep. Davenport takes
on pervasive dildo threat

Legislator aims to halt “dildofication” of SC

B & P News - Columbia

Long considered a “sleeping giant” in Palmetto State politics, the influential dildo lobby re-emerged last month to oppose a bill introduced by an Upstate legislator, Republican Ralph Davenport. Rep. Davenport’s bill, dubbed “the Bildo” by some members of the General Assembly, aims to ban the sale of sex toys inside state borders.

“The notion that dildos are bad is a huge fallacy,” said dildo proponent Delilah Dover, chairman of the activist group SCRD. “As a dildo insider, I feel that if dildos are criminalized, only criminals will have dildos.”

But Davenport, of Boiling Springs, says the sale of sex toys contributes to the moral delinquency of the state. He says he is not intimidated by the high-profile dildo lobby, or “dildo establishment.”

“This is about more than sex toys. It’s about the dildofication of South Carolina,” said Davenport. “Veiny or smooth, double-ended or strap-on, vibrating or conventional - no dildo will be above this law.”

Some analysts agree with the dildo lobby that banning the sale of sex toys, like the dildo, could have dire economic consequences for the Palmetto State.

“If this bill passes, expect to see South Carolinians purchase large quantities of Georgia and North Carolina dildos,” said USC economics professor Dylan Dougherty. “It seems to be a better deal to dole out our dollars on domestic dildos.”

The bill is expected to be discretely filed underneath some clothes in a State House chest-of-drawers until next session, thanks to lobbying efforts by SCRD. But Governor Sanford says if "the Bildo" somehow reaches his desk this session, he will treat it as any other legislation and veto it.

“I’ve always espoused a more limited government, and a limited government doesn’t mess with the hardworking dildos of taxpayers,” said Sanford. “I mean, the dildos of hardworking taxpayers.”

12 comments:

Anonymous said...

Here's another intriguing bill from Rep. Davenport, proposed in March:

http://www.scstatehouse.net/sess116_2005-2006/bills/4865.htm

"SECTION 1. Section 24-3-20(A) of the 1976 Code, as last amended by Act 406 of 1996, is further amended by adding at the end:

"Notwithstanding another provision of law, the department [of Corrections] may enter into agreements with foreign countries for the confinement of inmates convicted of drug related offenses or offenses related to the sexual abuse of children.""

Now, I'm no constitutional scholar, but I wasn't aware that this kind of thing was allowed. I'm fairly sure that without any further provisions written into this bill, this could very easily land some of our state's prisoners in a prison under the control of a country that has significantly lower standards regarding the safe and humane treatment of prisoners. Sounds almost like legal permission for the type of extraordinary rendition program the CIA has been mixed up in recently, but without all of the kidnapping and secret flights to secret prisons. This Davenport guy sounds like he might not have his head screwed on straight.

Anonymous said...

Didn't somebody get dildoed to death with a giant dildo in Clockwork Orange?

Well, my droogees. Time for a bit of the 'ol horrowshow.

Or is it time for a bit of the 'ol in out in out?

I get so confused between the sex and the violence. The violence is OK but not the sex. Or is it the other way around? See. That's why I need the protection of this law.

STR said...

The only reason why Davenport did this was to get publicity for his voters to see. He has a tough election coming up in the Primary and needs to do all he can to get a positive picture about him and yes, believe it or not, in his district, him doing this, people in his district love this stuff and it will work. I have disagreed with Ralph on a number of things but his opponent in the (R) primary is awful and SC can't afford to let him beat Ralph.

Earl Capps said...

Are they going to ban the following items:

Cucumbers
Belts
Handcuffs

... these all have uses as sex toys, and would therefore fall under the scope of this law.

Heck, there might even be those with BBQ fetishes - does that mean we have to ban BBQ too?

Anonymous said...

Michael, forgive my ignorance, but how is it possible to get worse than a rep. who is willing to sell our citizens (prisoner or otherwise) to a foreign government? If he is still the lesser of two evils in the republican primary in that district, i fear for the political future of the country.

STR said...

Anon,
I def. understand what your saying and ...... one of my best friends was inches away to throwing his name in the hat for this race but didn't.

Anonymous said...

And then we can have the secret security police that people can go tell the goings on of their neighbors to so they can get them shipped out.

"When fascism comes to America it will be wrapped in a flag and carrying a cross"

Sinclair Lewis

The Cackalacky Candidate said...

As a protest measure, would Mark Sanford walk into the General Assembly building with two dildos tucked under his arms.....and would one of them be named "Pork"?

In Mexico, Rep. Davenport would be called a "coyote" because what he is proposing resembles a legalized human trafficking system. The key word in his bill is "agreement"; the state would establish a business contract to outsource prisoners to low cost, foreign incarcerators. Since government agencies award contracts to low bidders, that means the prisoners would get shipped to Mexico. (Local and county detention facilities are sometimes used to house state and federal prisoner but at least their civil rights are not checked at the border.)

If the intent of the bill is simply to dispose of undesirable elements in our society, then the bill literally treats some people as human refuse. This is a very slippery slope.

The language cited above does not exclude women prisoners from being sent abroad to foreign jails. One can only image.

And, how would the wife of the exported prisoner deliver clean socks and underwear to her incarcerated husband who is in another country??? At least now, Mom and the kids can see Dad in his orange jumpsuit at the roadside work detail. Dad may be in jail, but he's the only Dad the kids have. Under this bill, Mom and the kids would literally not see Dad for years, or ever.

The wife and mother who delivers clean socks and underwear to her husband in prison obviously takes her marriage vows seriously. This bill can only destroy those marriages. The prison population has largely lower class demographics. This bill should be call "The Destruction of The Lower Class Marriage Act."

In the Bible, even the leper colonies were locally operated.

Anonymous said...

"This bill should be call "The Destruction of The Lower Class Marriage Act.'"

Right. Except it's The Destriction of the Lower Class AND Marraige Act, otherwise known as conservative politics. And it's so effective even the lower class cheers the party on in the process of its own demise.

Now that you think about it, isn't that what slavery did? Well, with the help of race baiting of the lower classes that is.

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