Governor’s performance results in Oscar

Below: Sanford holds his Oscar
for the role of "governor without
49th-ranked unemployment"
Academy honors Sanford's acting

B & P News - Hollywood

SC Governor Mark Sanford earned an Academy Award last night for his role in the 2005’s “Soil Conditions,” in which he acts like a governor of a state unaffected by rampant unemployment. Though the film is technically a documentary, the Academy of Motion Pictures Arts and Sciences made an exception and granted Sanford the Best Male Actor award for his over-the-top portrayal.

“He’s a terrific actor - especially considering the role is such a stretch,” said film critic Roger Ebert. “From beginning to end, Mark has the audience convinced that he is the governor of a state without 49th-ranked unemployment.”

“It’s the eyes,” agreed critic Gene Shalit. “When you look into them, there's an aloofness that could only belong to the governor of a state with a pristine AAA credit rating. I don’t know how he pulls it off.”

Hollywood insiders have speculated for months that Sanford’s convincing performance as "a governor of a state without high joblessness" would result in Oscar. During his acceptance speech, Sanford thanked loyal supporter and special effects director John Rainey, among others.

“I’d especially like to thank Alabama Governor Bob Riley, who I studied under,” said Governor Sanford. “I watched his every move, from securing Airbus to reducing unemployment to 3.1%. I pretended that was me. That's the magic of Hollywood.”

Sanford accepted his award in a custom-made Marc Jacobs tuxedo.

“The tux was definitely cutting-edge,” said fashion commentator Joan Rivers, from the red carpet outside the awards show. “You could almost see the coattails shrinking as he walked by.”